Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category

Two Conversations

Posted: April 6, 2015 in Religion

I’ve had two conversations this week that made me clarify, in my own mind, a lot of what I’m trying to do.

Conversation 1:

“It’s just I know there are things in your life that we don’t know about. My current theory is that you’re some kind of kinky cross-dresser; whereas [another person] thinks you’ve found religion.”

OK, I’ve edited that down to one line, but it was part of a larger discussion. It bothered me because both propositions in it were kind of true in a ball-park kind of way (I went on to tease them about my planned pink outfit for a party later in the week). What perhaps bothered me more was the set of assumptions and biases that came with these (I’ll probably post about transvestitism on my other blog at some point). But hey, hatters gonna hat; besides, I found the way someone not connected to either my kink or spiritual circles almost hit the nails on the head kind of interesting, so I posted the quote to some social media. This led to…

Conversation 2:

“We need to have a conversation man!” said a friend.

“What?” said I.

“About finding religion; I mean, you’re a scientist man!”

This bothered me, and I set about (perhaps in not the most articulate of terms) setting the record straight.

First up; telling someone you have an issue with their spiritual beliefs/religion is a dick move. This isn’t the main thrust of this post as what was said was done in a playful manner in the context of a friendship (I have some religious friends and I tease them about it, gently, on occasion). But overtly saying someone is wrong for believing what they believe, usually as part of a “I have a greater and truer ‘truth’ than yours,” is arrogant and pointless… unless…

Unless someone is trying to push their set of beliefs on you. At which point they’re the one pulling the dick move.

The key point I made to the friend was that what I’m doing isn’t about religion, it’s about spirituality. In the context of the conversation I meant it very much as being that I was looking at my personal journey as just that, something personal, something that, whilst I may blog about it, is something I’m still kind of embarrassed about and when confronted in conversation will usually either shy away or brave it out with generalisms rather than speaking too much about something that is, fundamentally, a very personal thing. Religion, on the other hand, strikes me as much more aggressive in its outlook. It’s often seen as not enough to simply have your faith, because if your faith is truly the truest of the true then aren’t you duty bound to try to spread said truth to others?

Such goes the bare bones of many conversations I’ve had with some of the more aggressive fringes of organised religion over the years. And is, as I say, a dick move. The kind of dick move that led to me spending most of my formative years being quietly assured that I was going to go to hell. You know, the kind of experience that can sour you to a belief system.

This is the tip of the iceberg on my issues with religion, and that’s a rich seam of thought-provoking stuff to delve into that I will save for future posts. But for now I’ll put a rough definition here of what I am and am not interested in. It’s all about whether you’re looking out or looking in. I am looking in; I want to be a better version of myself; to understand myself and to understand the world around me.

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